


These Marks on My Soul

by benvoliotheorphan



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cade-centric, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, can the universe just give cade a break, ignores the last knight, kind of devolved into headcanon territory, so no worries about spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 10:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benvoliotheorphan/pseuds/benvoliotheorphan
Summary: Having more than one mark wasn’t exactly unusual. Having one of his marks be a death threat, however, was.Or how Cade has two soulmates and yet still struggles to not die alone.





	These Marks on My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE. BEEN WORKING ON THIS. FOR FREAKING. MONTHS.
> 
> no, seriously, i started this like a few weeks before the last knight was released in theaters. i've been working on this for so freaking long. it was originally supposed to be a short little barn husbands soulmate au bc i thought the set up was funny and it just. it just spiraled out of control. and turned into headcanonville, where i just dumped all of my cade headcanons into this one soulmate au fic.
> 
> i don't even know if i'm like 100% happy with this end result. but dude. i'm freaking done. that's it my dudes. please enjoy what i got.
> 
> special shout out to [pocketsquid](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsquid/pseuds/pocketsquid) for cheering me on as i struggled with this thing!

Cade sprinted through the hall, backpack heavy with various broken stage equipment he was able to buy off some theater kid. It slammed against his back painfully, and random sharp corners dug into him through the fabric, but he did his best to ignore it. He had to hurry. He was running late and he had to get to geography before the bell rang. If the bell rang and he wasn’t in class, he would have to sit in detention for the period; if he missed yet another class, then he’d be on the bench for the next few games; if he couldn’t play football, well, his father would ground him and throw out all of his hard work.

A loud clatter rang behind him, and Cade slowed down slightly to awkwardly reach behind him and feel the front of his backpack. One of the front pockets had opened – damn it, should’ve fixed that zipper weeks ago – and something must’ve fallen out. Cade bit his lip and debated on going back for it. On the one hand, it could be vital and just what he needed to get the robot he was building to work; on the other hand, he could end up being late to class and being late meant detention which meant the bench which meant –

“Hey!” a voice called out from somewhere behind him, “I think you dropped this!” The mark on his left forearm began to heat up as he slid to a stop, his breath catching in his throat.

There it was again, that phrase. That one painful sentence. Suddenly Cade’s heart was pounding in his chest as hope hit him full force _. Calm down,_ his brain screamed as he clenched his hands into fists and closed his eyes _, you’ve heard it hundreds of times before, this is probably just going to be another disappointment._ He’d turn around, say something to them, and then be let down to discover that they weren’t a match.

He’d gone through the cycle time and again since he was old enough to understand what the markings on his arms meant. It’ll just be more of the same.

But... his left mark never burned like that before. It felt as if it was being baked under the Texas sun in the middle of summer, while the rest of his body felt normal, if only slightly warm due to him wearing long sleeves for the winter weather outside when the heaters were on inside. This could be it.

The bell rang.

_Shit!_

“Please, for the love of god, tell me that you’re my fucking soulmate!” he all but shouted as he spun around – because damn it, that was literally the only thing that would make losing all of the hard work he’d accomplished recently worth it.

Another loud clatter filled the hall as he opened his eyes and came face to face with probably one of the prettiest faces he’d ever seen. Long light brown hair, bright green eyes – which were wide with shock. In fact, her entire face looked pretty pale, and she had dropped the thing – which turned out to be a remote – again. His heart skipped a beat as he did is best to not jump to any conclusions.

“You’re kidding me,” she gasped, brow furrowing as she stepped forward and nearly tripped on the remote. She glared down at it before gently kicking it out of the way.

Cade shook his head and walked towards her, rolling up the sleeve on his left arm as he did so. Once he was close enough he held it out to her, showing the black words written across his skin. “‘Fraid not.”

She leaned forward, eyes narrowing as she examined the mark. Then she sighed and glared up at him. “Y’know, you should really watch your language. I haven’t been able to wear a tank top my whole life thanks to you.”

His breath hitched. “Wait. You mean...”

She rolled her eyes and nodded as she stood upright and pulled back the collar of her shirt over her left shoulder. There, from the edge of her shoulder up to her neck, were the words he had just spoken.

_“Please, for the love of god, tell me that you’re my fucking soulmate!”_

For an instant it felt as though every cell in Cade’s body just stopped working. He didn’t breathe, didn’t blink, heck he was pretty sure his heart didn’t even beat. He didn’t register when the girl in front of him, _his soulmate,_ moved until suddenly the remote was being held up to his face. He blinked a few times as everything came back online, before grabbing it with a muttered: “Thank you.”

She smiled at him, bright and beautiful and _jesus christ,_ he could already tell that he got lucky because no smile would ever be able to beat hers. “I’m Emily, by the way.”

* * *

“You have two marks?”

Cade tore his eyes away from the starry sky to look down at Emily, who was curled up against him on the hood of his old pickup. Winter had finally given way for spring and it was warm enough for him to wear short sleeve shirts once again – revealing the mark on his right arm in the process. Emily slowly reached out and traced the words with one finger, a look of concern dancing across her features.

He watched her face carefully as he nodded and answered, “Yeah, I do.” He shifted in a vain attempt to pull her attention away from his arm. “Don’t you?”

“No,” Emily answered with a small huff before turning her head upwards to meet his eyes. A small smirk tugged at her lips. “Probably for the best though. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with a soulmate whose first words to me were a death threat.”

He snorted and spared a glance towards his mark. The words written there almost glared back as though they were mocking him. _“I’ll kill you!”_

“Wonder what you’ll do to piss them off so much.”

“Probably’ll happen during a football game,” Cade answered with a shrug, allowing his gaze to return to the sky above. “I get enough threats and fights from kicking their asses as is.”

Emily hummed and snuggled closer into his side. “Maybe. Or maybe you’ll piss them off on the road. You got quite the road rage.”

“Hey, do not!” She pinched his side and shook her head, and he could tell she was thinking about how he cursed someone out just earlier that day when they almost smashed into his truck. He felt he had been justified then, however, as someone could’ve gotten seriously hurt from that jerkoff’s negligence. “Are you...ok with that? Me having two marks?”

He felt her nod. “Uh-huh, of course! I mean. It wouldn’t exactly be fair to deny you your soulmate.” She shrugged. “We’ll figure it out whenever you meet them.”

His heart swelled and Cade knew in that moment that he truly could not have been luckier.

* * *

There were many things Cade and Emily had in common: they both loved football (she bragged to all of her friends that she was dating one of the best players in their school), they both had a general distaste towards his folks (who, in turn, disapproved of Emily as his soulmate, as if he actually had a choice in that regard), they both loved pizza, she adored his robotic creations, he loved listening to her sing and practice for choir; the list went on for quite a while. He supposed it would have to, for them to be able to date for over a year. One thing they loved more than anything, however, was grossing out her closest friend, Lucas, with their, as he would often call it, “lovey-dovey junk.”

“Gross, get a room!” Lucas groaned loudly as he barged into Emily’s house unexpectedly one evening while Cade and Emily were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. He purposefully walked in front of them to block the TV screen before sitting down in the recliner next to the couch.

“What are you doing here?” Emily snapped, though Cade could tell that the glare she was giving him was mostly a mocking one. Mostly.

Lucas rolled his eyes and leaned back into the chair, legs propped up and head lulled to one side. “Helen invited me and Gran for dinner, remember?”

Emily threw a throw pillow at him, which he caught with ease. “Don’t call my mom by her first name, it’s weird. And why did you abandon Grandma Flannery? She’s old and has trouble moving around on her own.”

“She’s fiiiiine. Helen was gonna pick her up after work.” Lucas threw Emily and Cade a shit-eating grin before shrugging and turning towards the TV. “Band buddies bailed during rehearsal so I thought I’d come over early.”

“Well, that’s all very well and good and all that,” Cade cut in, catching Emily’s eye and sharing a knowing, devious smirk with her. “But you cut in on our alone time. And we’d like to get back to that.” Suddenly Emily was right on top of him, chest pressed flush against his, his hands on her waist, their lips meeting –

“UGH, GROSS!” Of course, it was hard to really, truly make out when trying to suppress laughter like the two of them were. “God, stop it! You’re like my older sister, it’s disturbing!”

Cade blinked several times at the sudden absence of Emily’s weight, his girlfriend having pushed herself off him to glare at Lucas once again. “Older sis– Lucas, you’re only two months younger than me.”

“I know, you got one foot in the retirement home.” Lucas wasn’t fast enough to catch the next throw pillow she hurled at him, resulting it in smacking him the face. “Ow! Hey, all I’m asking is you leave your private life private!”

“Pfft, sure,” Cade began as he sat up, “you say that, but I bet you’ll be doing the same when you find your match.” Emily’s eyes widened and she frantically shook her head as he spoke, though he didn’t understand why–

“Don’t have a mark, so no worries there,” Lucas answered with a nonchalant shrug. “Still have had more date’s than you ever will, though. Like Kelsey, Barbara, Eleanor...”

The list went on for quite a while.

* * *

“Cade... I’m pregnant.”

His mouth was dry and his knees felt weak. It would be a lie to claim that it hadn’t been a dream of his, to one day marry his soulmate and have children together – hell, he had planned to ask Emily to marry him after they graduate.

But that was the key thing.

His fantasies all took place _after_ high school.

Yet, here they were, only a few weeks into their senior year, right outside Emily’s house, with Emily looking the most broken and upset and scared that Cade had ever seen her. Her skin was pale, her eyes red and puffy as tears rolled down her cheeks. Neither of them was ready for this, they were only seventeen! He didn’t have a job yet and the one she had paid poorly and her mother wasn’t exactly wealthy and his parents were going to fucking kill him and –

Emily bit back a sob. “Please. Please say something.”

Cade quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head several times. “Hey, hey, it’s ok. We’ll figure this out.”

“Yo-you mean. You’ll stay?”

He held her tighter. “Of course! What kind of question is that? Of course I’ll stay. I love you. And. And this is my responsibility too, y’know.”

She buried her face into his chest and sobbed loudly. Cade was quick to comfort, rubbing her back and whispering reassurances to her. He loved her so much. They’ll figure this out. He was so happy.

And he was. Terrified? Yes. Woefully unprepared? Definitely. Sure, it certainly could’ve happened at a better time but...

Cade wanted this. He wanted to marry Emily, to have children with her and raise a family. He was going to do everything in his power to do this right.

* * *

_“I can’t believe this–”_

_“You’re such a disappointment!”_

_“Don’t you dare come back.”_

* * *

They tried to stay in school, they really did. But between the stress of the pregnancy, Cade unexpectedly (though it wasn’t entirely unexpected to him) being kicked out of his home and forced to move into Emily’s, and trying to make enough money to be able to properly care for the baby...

Emily dropped out when she began to show. “I’m not gonna add homework and people calling me names behind my back on top of all this!” she had shouted in frustration when her mother pleaded for her to reconsider. Cade dropped out not too long after; he had to focus on making money to support them, and he felt guilty that Helen had to pay for his school now anyway.

Unfortunately, the only place that would hire him was McDonald’s. And while he was grateful for the job, it did little to help with their money issues.

The last few months were filled with so much stress and anxiety as they all frantically prepared for the baby’s arrival. It all came to a head the night before the high school’s graduation ceremony when Emily went into labor and was rushed to the hospital.

There was probably some form of irony to be had there, to the fact that the day they were supposed to be graduating high school they were stuck in the delivery room. All the screaming and the nurses rushing about and oh jesus christ did Emily squeeze his hand hard – they went through all of that while Lucas was over getting a diploma.

But when that first cry broke through the air and they placed the baby in Emily’s arms, Cade found he couldn’t care any less about missing graduation. He nestled close to Emily on the bed, one arm wrapped around her shoulder as he stared down at their little girl in awe. She was tiny and wrinkly and red and all around ugly as sin but in all his life he had never seen anything more perfect.

“Hey Tessa,” Emily whispered, her voice hoarse and cracking with emotion, “welcome to the world.”

Of course, the beautiful moment was ruined when Lucas frantically burst into the room, still wearing his cap and gown from the ceremony.

* * *

Not long after their daughter was born did the two of them decide to finally get married. There was no real ceremony, no church and no dress and no cake, just the two of them in a small courthouse. They exchanged rings and signed papers and Cade was grinning so widely as they left the building that his cheeks were sore for the rest of the day.

Cade and Emily and Tessa Yeager. It had a nice ring to it.

* * *

“You never build stuff anymore.”

Cade looked up from tucking Tessa in to see Emily standing in the doorway of her room. Upon seeing his makeup-covered face, courtesy of their little toddler, Emily’s face went red as she struggled to hold back her laughter. Cade simply glared at her and turned back to Tessa, kissing the top of his daughter’s head before rushing out of the room.

Once the door was closed, Emily let go, laughing quietly as she leaned up against him. “Oh my god, you look like a clown!”

“Hey! This is our daughter’s handiwork, show a little respect!” But he was grinning too. He never liked when people laughed at his expense, but Emily and Tessa were the only exceptions to the rule. He led the two of them to the nearby bathroom so he could work at washing the cheap makeup off. “Now what was this about me building stuff?”

Emily stood in the doorway, a small smile on her face as she watched Cade struggle with removing the makeup. “Well, back when we first started dating you use to just throw yourself into fixin’ broken tech or building robots.” Her smile fell away. “But then Tessa–”

“It’s hard balancing out a full-time job and a child,” he replied as nonchalantly as he could while scrubbing off the makeup. “Just don’t have time for it anymore.” And that much was true – although another factor, one he refused to bring up because Emily always blamed herself for it, was his father destroying and throwing out all that he had invented when he was kicked out. It had hurt to see all of his hard work for the past few years tossed aside like it was garbage, broken to the point where hardly anything was salvageable, and Cade felt a part of his love for it break that day.

Though he did not mention it, he could tell by the look on Emily’s face that she was well aware of that fact too.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“And who says I’m not?” He paused in washing his face to turn and face his wife. “I’m married to my soulmate, we have a beautiful daughter, and yeah I’m a bit bummed we’re living in your mom’s home but it’s nicer than anything we could afford so I’m not complaining.” He put his hands on her shoulders and smiled. “I couldn’t be happier.”

Emily scoffed. “Ok, that contradicts what you just said about Mom’s house, but...” she sighed and shrugged his hands off of her. “I know you miss tinkering. You were always at your happiest when we were in your garage and you were showing off your inventions.”

Cade frowned and turned back to the mirror, unsure what to say in response. There was no point in denying it, after the years they’ve spent together Emily could read him like a book. He did miss inventing, but what could he do about it? Like he said, he just didn’t have the time...

“Y’know,” Emily began right as he started to scrub his face clean once again, “we aren’t really using the old barn for anything but storage. Maybe that can be your new shop?”

“Shop?”

“Yeah! Like. What you did back in school – people pay you to fix stuff, or you buy broken equipment and sell it. Or,” she drew out the word, a sly smile slipping onto her face, “you can create new inventions and follow that dream of yours.” Emily placed a quick kiss on his cheek. “Just think about it, okay?”

Cade watched her leave before staring at his reflection once again, his face now only half covered in makeup. Maybe that could work. He did miss it something fierce...

Not like it could be much worse to the crap pay he got now.

* * *

Emily was sick. She tried her best to hide it, as she didn’t want to worry him or go see a doctor (“That costs money, Cade! Money that we should be spending on Tessa!” Yeah, right, and her fear of needles had nothing to do with it either), but he noticed. It was hard not to, what with the way she stumbled from dizzy spells or could hardly keep any food she ate down. On top of all that, the mark on his left arm seemed to constantly radiate a dull heat that only got worse with each day.

Despite Emily’s best efforts, Cade _was_ worried and tried to get her to get a check-up, at least, but she continuously refused. “I’m fine, Cade. It’ll pass!”

Then he got a call from her work one day, saying how she had collapsed, that she had a seizure.

“Fine my ass,” was the first thing he said when he walked into her room at the hospital, though he was quick to hug her and kiss her. She didn’t comment on his tears, and he was grateful for that.

“Cade. I was wrong. It’s...it’s bad.”

* * *

A brain tumor.

Helen cried for days after the news got out. Lucas was the quietest Cade had ever seen him – not even losing his grandma had that sort of effect on him. And Tessa...

She was confused and scared and Emily would not let her leave her side for the rest of the day.

* * *

“At least we know why you have two marks now, huh?”

The more Emily’s condition worsened, the more painful the mark on his left arm got. Treatment didn’t seem to have much effect, thus she was stuck in the hospital and slowly fading away. And with each moment, Cade felt a part of him fading with her.

He barely spared a glance at his right arm as he took her hand and vigorously shook his head. “Hey, now, don’t talk like that. You’ll see, you’re–”

“Dying, Cade,” Emily cut in, her voice almost exasperated despite how tired and drained it was. “There ain’t much point in denying it at this point.” She smiled, and it was so feeble and broken that it pained him more than anything to see. Her free hand was brought up and rested on his cheek, her skin clammy to the touch. “Just. Just promise me that you’ll be happy with them – don’t keep treating them like you will so that they threaten to kill you.”

He forced a shaky grin. “We don’t know that that’s my fault.” Had he been shaking this entire time?

“True, but I know you. Better than anyone.” She dropped her hands and shifted so that she was lying down on her back and faced the ceiling. “Take lots of pictures of Tessa for me, be there for her. And make sure she’s able to hold a diploma and graduate.” And there was the routine they had developed. Every conversation before he had to leave the room for whatever reason, she repeated the same promises.

“Of course, yeah.” And he responded in kind.

It was time for him to go pick up Tessa and bring her over to visit. Cade stepped out of the room and looked down at his arms, stomach lurching as the words stared back up at him. He had two marks, and he had yet to meet the one who says the words inscribed on his right arm. Emily had only ever had the one.

It felt as though bile was forcing its way up his throat and he threw his arms down and stormed out of the building.

_My fault, my fault, myfault,myfaultmyfault–_

He stopped by home long enough for him to slip on a long sleeve shirt. He couldn’t stand to look at his marks.

* * *

“Come on, Tess,” Cade mumbled as he hefted his sleeping daughter up in his arms, “time for us to go home.” He glanced back towards Emily, who had fallen asleep a few minutes beforehand, and sighed. He was reluctant to leave because the mark on his left arm had been burning something awful for almost the entire day, his arm feeling as though it was on fire. It was late, though, and both he and Tessa needed to get their rest.

Emily had insisted that she’d be fine for one night before she drifted off, too.

Cade sighed and shook his head. It’d be fine, it’d be fine...

The drive back home was quiet, and he did his best to ignore how the pain in his arm grew more intense with each minute. He got home, tucked Tessa into bed, before crawling into his all too empty bed himself to try and get some sleep. He merely tossed and turned though, unable to close his eyes for long with out the pain and anxiety spiking every few minutes.

The burning sensation grew in intensity throughout the night until, close to one in the morning, it suddenly flared, the pain so excruciating it almost made him cry out. And then it suddenly stopped. It was as though someone poured ice water on it, and it left Cade feeling extremely uneasy.

He couldn’t say he was surprised when the hospital called to inform him that Emily had passed. But that didn’t stop him from breaking down, sobbing so loudly it woke both Helen and Tessa. He wasn’t even able to calm down enough to tell them, though they likely already knew.

* * *

Cade woke up slowly with a cloud of grogginess and confusion surrounding his consciousness. His mouth was dry and gross, his arms were heavy and sore, and his entire body was hot except for his forehead where something cool and wet rested. Once he forced his eyes to finally open, he was greeted with the sight of his bedroom’s ceiling and Lucas glaring down at him.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, jackass,” he snapped, pulling the damp washcloth away before helping Cade sit up. It was only then, upon feeling a hand press against his bare back, that Cade realized he was wearing nothing but his underwear. “Listen, I know you’re in mourning and all that, but what you’ve been doing is just. Stupid. Beyond stupid.”

“Mind telling me what I did before you reprimand me for it?” Cade snapped, his voice hoarse and his throat aching. Lucas rolled his eyes and handed him a glass of water, which Cade drank greedily.

Once the empty glass was back in Lucas’s hands, he answered, “It’s been months, dude. And we’re in the middle of summer!” He gestured wildly towards the window where the bright rays of the sun were shining through. “Listen, you can’t keep yourself locked up in the barn and distracting yourself like this. Especially with those shirts; you’re gonna kill yourself!”

Cade scoffed and pushed himself out of bed. He stumbled over to his dresser and began to get dressed. “You’re over exaggerating,” he insisted as he pulled his jeans up, “I don’t spend all day out there–”

“If it weren’t for Tessa insisting on checking up on you, you would go days without human contact.”

Cade rolled his eyes and reached for the first shirt he could find. “I still leave the barn to take care of her and clean the house for Helen.”

He could feel the glare Lucas was sending his way. “You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, whoop-de-doo. You’ve still fallen behind on both those things.” Cade gave no response as he pulled the shirt over his head. “STOP! Stop right there!” And then suddenly the shirt was yanked off him and he was looking up at Lucas’s disapproving face once again. “No more long sleeve shirts! Not until the fall, at least.”

“I’m not–”

“Dude,” and then Lucas’s glare fell away and his shoulders slumped and he suddenly looked as tired as Cade felt, “you’re making me the more responsible one. Do you know how _unnatural_ this feels?” He shook his head and tossed Cade’s shirt onto the bed. “Listen, man, just let me say my piece here real quick and then we can go back to the whole badass/dumbass dynamic, alright?”

Cade was so close to saying no. He knew what Lucas was going to say to him, all the same things that voice at the back of his head been screaming at him since Emily’s funeral. _This isn’t healthy. It’s not fair to Helen and especially isn’t fair to Tessa. Stop this._

 _No!_ another voice would shout, _We need the money more than ever! Between the funeral and hospital bills... Must work, must work, can’t think about Emily, can’t think about the marks, myfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault–_

He wanted so desperately to say no.

Cade simply nodded instead.

Lucas heaved a sigh and dragged one hand across his face, and it was only just then that Cade noticed the bags he had under his eyes. In all honesty, Lucas looked awful, and Cade winced as he realized he likely looked ten times worse. “Okay, so like. I know y’all need money now and you and Helen are both pulling double shifts and shit, and I’m not saying you just stop working but... Jesus, you worked yourself so hard that you collapsed from exhaustion! And Tessa wouldn’t stop screaming when she found you on the ground out in the barn.”

Oh.

“She wouldn’t leave your side for hours, wanted to make sure that you were still here and all that.” Lucas shrugged and glanced towards the door. “Couldn’t pull her from your side until she fell asleep. I mean, you’re mourning and need space, I get that. But she needs you. Take it from someone whose been in her position – don’t shut her out.”

Shame and guilt twisted at Cade’s gut and he found it hard to say anything. He opened his mouth once or twice before nodding. He hadn’t intended to push Tessa away like that; she was his entire world! He bit the inside of his cheek and clenched and unclenched his fists before turning to the dresser and pulling out a t-shirt.

“I’ll...be sure to take more breaks.”

“That’s all I ask.”

And once the shirt was pulled over his head, Cade caught a glimpse of the mark on his right arm.

_“I’ll kill you!”_

Maybe he’ll see Emily again sooner than he thought...

He couldn’t tell if the idea was comforting or not.

* * *

It was only a few years after Emily’s death (which was, unfortunately, soon followed by Helen’s death), that _they_ arrived. The aliens. Transformers.

Cade had been slow on the uptake at first – between the government’s failed attempts at hiding it and his overall detachment from social media and news, he just...didn’t know. Tessa tried to tell him about it, but he had brushed it off as one of those stories children love to come up with. And when Lucas brought it up, well, with the amount of pot the man smoked Cade had trouble believing a lot of what he said.

He caught on eventually because that battle in Nevada was far from the last. Every few years it seemed more and more bots appeared, the planet was put in more and more grave danger, and cities were left in ruin. But one faction of the aliens, who called themselves autobots, always stepped forward and saved them. Even when humans had sent them away, they returned and fought fiercely in Chicago to keep them safe.

Cade wouldn’t say he watched them closely, per say. But as a man whose job focused primarily on mechanics, specifically building robots to help make lives easier, he couldn’t deny that the bots fascinated him. Living, sentient, alien creatures made of metal – how did they work, how did their bodies move, what did they eat, did they have to breathe, how did they transform like that – the questions were endless. They were amazing, and Cade admired the heck out of them.

Especially their leader. But then again, Optimus Prime was the only one who got any real media attention, so he was the only one Cade really knew.

It never really sat well with Cade when the government turned on the autobots and began to hunt them down. “They’re enemies, we must destroy them! Please inform officials if you come across them.” Something about it all felt wrong, especially when there was footage of Optimus saving them every single day.

“You saw what happened to Chicago!” Lucas exclaimed when Cade brought his doubt up to him. “We’re probably better off without them.”

Of course, by that point Tessa didn’t really care. They were no longer the cool new aliens they were when she was a kid, merely a fact of life. And since it was all so far removed from Texas, she decided to focus on more important matters. Like getting through high school.

Cade decided to follow suit. He promised Emily that Tessa would graduate high school at least. And to get that to work, he was determined to not let history repeat itself.

* * *

_“Mortar shells? What the hell happened to you?”_

* * *

Why was there an old worn down semi-truck in that dusty theater? How did it get there if the two owners never realized it was there? Why was it covered with bullet holes and filled with mortar shells? Why was Cade instantly drawn to this unassuming vehicle? Why did he buy it instead of a large number of antiques that filled the place that he could definitely get more money with later on?

All excellent questions that Cade didn’t have the answers to. However, he could not bring himself to regret the decision. Not while Tessa and Lucas both reprimanded him for it. Not when he found out that it was a transformer.

A _transformer!_

How amazing was that? Now those questions he had about them in the past, how they worked and how they were alive, he could find out the answers! He could learn how they functioned and then take that knowledge and apply it to his own inventions. If those inventions did well, then they wouldn’t have to worry about money – and if not, well then it wouldn’t be too difficult to make money off a freaking alien, even one that is falling apart.

No, the only instance that Cade felt any regret was when the truck began to suddenly transform, and he found himself looking up at a towering robot that was yelling and pointing a gun towards him and his daughter.

“I’ll kill you!” the robot shouted in a rough and angry and all too familiar voice. Cade’s right arm suddenly felt very warm and he vaguely noticed Tessa’s frantic tugging on his sleeves. He stared at Optimus Prime with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open with disbelief. “Stay back!”

Oh.

Oh, _you have got to be fucking kidding me._

* * *

“Not a word to anybody!” Cade demanded, pointing threateningly at Lucas through the car window. “Not a single word!”

Lucas rolled his eyes as he slammed the list onto the passenger’s seat. “Yeah, yeah, no telling anybody about the freaking alien in your barn.” He glared at Cade and flipped him the bird before pulling out of the barn. Cade stood there, watching him leave with a twist of unease.

He trusted Lucas, that much was certain. He had been basically a brother to Emily, like an uncle to Tessa, and was probably the only friend Cade had anymore. But Lucas had always felt uneasy towards the autobots, was quick to believe what the government said about them, and Cade doubted he had connected the dots.

Lucas wouldn’t sell out Cade’s soulmate to the government. But he didn’t seem to register that Optimus’s first words to Cade matched one of his marks. If he did know, he would’ve made at least two digs at him already. Cade briefly wondered if he should’ve told Lucas.

But that would require Cade admitting it, and he wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

When he walked back towards the barn he was unsurprised to see that Tessa was waiting for him, periodically sending a nervous glance towards the door. He cocked a brow and crossed his arms, ready to defend his decision to help Optimus – only to have her smirk up at him once she noticed his approach.

“I guess the whole ‘no dating household’ thing is void now, huh?” she asked in a teasing voice and Cade found himself scowling down at her. While Lucas had not noticed the whole soulmate detail, Tessa was, evidentially, right on top of it.

“Not so fast,” he quickly countered, “I’ve already stated that soulmates were the exception to the rule!”

Tessa rolled her eyes before sighing, her gaze drifting back towards the barn. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Dad?” she asked, her voice wavering only slightly. “He is a wanted man...alien...robot.”

“I’m sure.” In fact, he doubted there had ever been a time in his life where he was surer about anything else.

Soulmate or not, helping Optimus Prime was the right thing to do.

* * *

It turned out that helping patch together an alien with limited equipment and very little knowledge on their biology wasn’t all that easy. Not that Cade expected it to be, but he hadn’t realized the true level difficulty until he got to work. Optimus tried to explain everything as best he could, but his knowledge of his own anatomy was rather limited.

At first Cade wondered how that could be. But then he remembered that he failed anatomy in high school and he only knew the bare bones basics of the human body.

Luckily, transformers could heal quite easily on their own. They just needed plenty of rest and a few casts here and there. The autobot leader was falling apart, but he claimed it was nothing he couldn’t recover from.

At any rate, Cade relished the crash-course lessons he got while patching Optimus up. He made little notes at the back of his mind about how these aliens worked and how he could apply it to his own tech. And even torn up to shreds as he was, Optimus was still the most fascinating being he had ever seen. Everything was so new and yet so familiar.

Hours passed. He almost forgot the whole soulmate issue.

“Took a hell of a hit, you know. The missile just missed your power source,” Cade spoke as he picked up the metal half-sphere he made to work as a cast around said power source.

“We call it a spark,” Optimus replied as Cade walked forward, feeling Optimus’s eyes – no, optics – staring down at him as he moved closer. “It contains our life force and our memories.”

Cade paused at the stairs for the stands he had set up around the massive bot, his mouth suddenly feeling as though it had been stuffed with cotton balls and his heart skipping a beat or two. “Yeah, we call it a soul.” He hadn’t meant to say those words, not at all, but they jumped from his lips anyway. He swallowed and looked down at the cast, suddenly aware that his marks were visible for the bot to see. “Does that mean y’all call your soulmates sparkmates?” he found himself asking as he pushed forward to get on level with Optimus’s spark.

Optimus blinked several times, subtly shifting uneasily. “We do.” He seemed as uncomfortable with the topic as Cade felt.

He should drop the subject. He really should. He wasn’t ready to face reality, to face the fact that he had found his match. God, if Emily could see him now...

Cade stepped closer and examined the spark, trying to figure out the best way to attach the cover without harming the bot. “So, do you guys have the first words tattooed on your body too, or....” And then he saw them; there, carved into the glass-like surface of the spark, were various little sentences. He couldn’t really count how many there were, but they all varied in length, and few were written in unrecognizable, clearly alien, languages.

And there, front and center for him to see, were the first words he said to the truck in the theater.

Cade bit the inside of his cheek and almost reached out to touch his mark before stopping himself. This was Optimus’s _soul_ ; it had to be considered rude to touch it without permission. And judging by the stalled fans, Optimus was inclined to agree.

“The words are programmed into our memory, and carved onto our spark chamber,” Optimus answered, his voice quieter and more forced than Cade had ever heard it in the short time they’ve known each other.

So, he knew the words. But did Optimus know that _Cade_ said those words? He had been unconscious at the time, hadn’t he? So how _could_ he know that it was Cade?

The fact that Cade had “I’ll kill you!” written on his right arm might be a clue, sure. But...unless there was some weird alien thing he was missing (which was likely true; Cade was reluctant to admit that he was way out of his depth, but he really was), there was no way Optimus could know. And if Optimus didn’t know, that left Cade in the position of telling him.

Which he wasn’t entirely sure if he even wanted to.

So Cade simply nodded and got to work attaching the cover to the spark chamber, hoping that it would be enough to help the alien heart/soul/whatever to repair itself. Optimus remained quiet throughout, simply staring down at him and watching him work.

Cade had spent such a long time blaming himself and his second mark, and by extension his second match, for Emily’s death. And now his match was standing before him, literally larger than life, and Cade was at a complete and utter loss as to what he should do.

* * *

_“Cade, why are you willing to help me?”_

_“I guess maybe because you trust me to.”_

_That was only partially true. He helped because it was the right thing, the kind thing, to do._

* * *

He should sleep. He really, _really_ should let his eyes close and get some much-needed rest. They were only a few days out from Chicago, and Cade knew he would need to be at the top of his game if their plan to infiltrate KSI was to succeed. And for that, he would need to get a decent night’s sleep.

It’s been days, maybe a week. He was running on fumes now. Between constantly being on the move and the nightmares...

Whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was Tessa with a gun to her head, his home that had been in Emily’s family for several generations going up in flames, Lucas–

Bile rose in his throat as the image of Lucas’s body, frozen mid-run and covered with torn flesh-turned-metal, popped into his head again. _I should’ve told him, I should’ve been more careful, I should’ve helped–_

Nearly two decades of friendship, over in a literal flash. Tessa had cried, had mourned, had shouted and blamed Cade and woke up screaming her surrogate uncle’s name. Cade suppressed it, turned his attention towards going after KSI and whoever else was after the autobots, towards getting their lives back.

And now he couldn’t sleep. He lay awake on the hard ground, knowing already that his back would be aching tomorrow, and stared up at the starry sky. Shane – who was a whole other can of worms that refused to leave Cade’s thoughts; at least Tessa didn’t attempt to lie and say the two of them were soulmates – snored loudly at the edge of the camp, Tessa curled up by his side. Cade wasn’t sure when she moved, and he was tempted to go over and separate them, but he let her be. She needed rest more than anyone. The other autobots were scattered around the area, all of them sleeping or recharging or whatever they called it.

All but one.

With a groan, Cade stumbled to his feet and stretched, giving up on the idea of sleep that night; he’ll just have to settle for 15-minute naps in Optimus’s cab when they were on the road again. Several yards away, said autobot leader sat, optics dutifully watching their surroundings for any sign of danger. Cade huff and began to take a step towards him before hesitating. The two of them hadn’t spent much time alone together since he fixed the bot up, and Cade wasn’t certain if they even should. They were on a mission and had to focus.

But...Optimus was his soulmate. They had to have a discussion at some point, especially with death around the corner. Cade sent a quick glare at his right arm. “Of course I just had to get an alien fugitive for a soulmate,” he grumbled before straightening and heading over to where Optimus sat.

“I was under the impression that humans required several hours of sleep in order to function properly,” Optimus spoke once Cade got close, though he kept his head and eyes facing forward. Cade gulped and said nothing, instead merely stepping closer before sitting down next to the bot. “You haven’t slept much these last few nights.”

Was...was Optimus _worried_ about him? Cade bit the inside of his cheek (and ow, god, was there a sore forming because that hurt) and looked down at the ground, hands idly picking at the vegetation around him. “Yeah, I know. Can’t exactly help it though.” He shrugged. “Not as young as I used to be, body’s a whole lot pickier about where and how I get my rest.”

Movement made him look up to see Optimus had turned to look down at him. Neither said a word, simply stared at each other, and Cade knew in that moment that Optimus did not believe him. There was something in his optics, however, that told him that the bot understood his woes.

 _I guess millions of years of warfare makes it easier to tell when someone’s mourning... Probably also makes what I’m going through look like a cakewalk._ Cade scoffed quietly and turned his gaze back towards the ground.

“You had asked,” Optimus suddenly began, causing Cade to jump even though the words were softly spoken, “about my kind’s sparkmates and where our marks are located.”

His gut churned, and Cade couldn’t tell if it was just nerves or something worse. “Yeah?”

“I noticed that you had two marks of your own.” So he _did_ notice. Damn.

“Yeah, I do.” Cade nodded and stood, holding his arms out in a vain attempt to give Optimus a closer look. He got a grunt and an offered servo for his efforts, which made Cade chuckle before he climbed onto the metal hand and let himself be lifted to Optimus’s eye level. It was a slow rise, but it still made Cade a little lightheaded and it took him a minute to recover.

Once he was confident enough to stand, Cade held his arms out again so Optimus could see his marks. “This one here,” he began, nodding his head towards his left forearm, “was the mark that bound me to Emily – uh, Tessa’s mother.” He watched Optimus carefully as the bot examined the mark, eyebrows (did they have a special name for those too?) furrowing and optics narrowing to get a better look. Now the moment of truth. “And, well, this one...” Cade’s voice trailed off as he nodded to his right forearm, uncertain of how he even wanted Optimus to react.

He was still somehow disappointed, though. Optimus merely switched his gaze over to the right arm with the same expression, saying nothing. Cade shifted his weight from foot to foot, unsure as to what he should do. “You had a lot of marks on your spark!” he found himself blurting, instantly bringing his arms back to his side.

There was a flash of pain across that metal face and then Optimus was sighing and nodding. “Yes. I do. Most of them were lost during the war. The few others are ones that I have not yet met.”

_Well, we’ve met. So that’s something._

* * *

Cade didn’t remember falling asleep. One minute he was talking to Optimus, the next he was waking up reclined in one of the front seats of Optimus’s truck mode. The sky outside was still dark, so it would be a little while yet before they had to get up and help everyone move.

Cade smiled gently and fell back asleep.

* * *

Tessa quietly sat down next to Cade, causing him to look up from the drone he was tinkering with. Tomorrow was the big day, they were going to infiltrate KSI and finally get some answers. It was late, and they needed rest, but there was a tightness to Cade’s gut that kept him up. Everyone else had gone to bed, except for Drift who volunteered to take first watch.

Tessa didn’t say anything, didn’t even look up to meet his gaze, her attention drawn to the drone. Cade cocked a brow and waited.

Five minutes later, he cracked.

“Ok, what do you want?” he asked, readjusting his position so he could face her fully.

Over the years, Cade had grown to expect specific sorts of questions when she approached him like this. More often than not they involved the rules he had set in place, more specifically how to get around them.

Surely this wasn’t the best time to –

“Does he know?” Tessa asked, glaring up at him.

But she was his daughter, of course. Bad timing was just in their genes.

Cade sighed and turned back to the drone, grateful that she had approached him while he had something he could distract himself with. “No. I don’t think so.”

He heard her snort. “You don’t _think_ so? Dad, either Optimus knows or he doesn’t!”

“He hasn’t brought it up yet,” Cade explained in a harsh whisper, having lowered his voice when he caught Drift sending them a curious glance. Tessa turned towards the bot briefly before returning her gaze to him and giving him a single nod. He continued, “He’s seen both my marks and hasn’t recognized his. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know.”

She stared at him slack jawed, or something close enough to it at least, for a moment or two before she crossed her arms and huffed out a sigh. “So, when are you gonna tell him, then?”

Cade huffed as he picked the drone up and held it close to his face, narrowing his eyes in concentration but not really paying attention to the object in front of him. “That’s an excellent question.”

“Dad.” He winced at her tone and silently wondered, not for the first time, exactly when and how she mimicked his reprimanding tone so well.

He sighed but refused to lower the drone. “After tomorrow.” Couldn’t let something silly and soap opera-like as soulmate drama get in the way of their plans. Although... Cade briefly glanced towards Tessa’s mark, which was written around her left ankle. _“Wow, that’s so amazing!”_ “Why are you so eager to get me to tell him?”

He could feel her glare digging into the side of his head. “You don’t date, I don’t date. Remember?” And then she leaned back and sighed, and Cade found himself turning to face his daughter fully yet again. “And...you’ve just been on your own since Mom died. Good a chance as any for you to find happiness again.”

“I’m perfectly happy with just the three of us–” Tessa turned away suddenly, her eyes squeezed shut and biting hard onto her bottom lip. Cade felt a knot form in his throat as he realized what he had said.

Two. It was just the two of them now.

Cade found his gaze moving back towards Shane of their own volition, and he jumped at the chance to change the subject quickly. “Y’know, I’m surprised you didn’t attempt to lie about Speed Racer.”

It took several moments for Tessa’s form to relax, and when she released her lip it bled slightly. She wiped her mouth and gave a light shrug. “I knew it’d be pointless. You’d just ask to see his mark to make sure that one is the response to the other.”

“And let me guess, it’s not–”

“Shane doesn’t have a mark,” she cut in, mouth pressed into a thin line as she stared him down.

Ah. That would do it.

There was a lot Cade wanted to say in that moment. All of it summed up to him warning her about how relationships between people with marks and people without rarely lasted long. However, considering how poorly he was handling his own love life and how bullheaded his daughter could be, he simply offered a quiet, “Be careful with him,” instead.

Tessa didn’t even miss a beat. “As if you have room to talk.”

* * *

This quest, this little adventure, this strange little chapter in his life? Yeah, Cade was pretty positive that _this_ was what was going to kill him. Between watching his daughter get caught in the middle of a fight with two towering robots, watching both her _and_ his soulmate get captured by some third robot, mounting a rescue on some weird-ass alien ship (and getting an admittedly awesome new alien gun in the process), trying to walk off the ship on small wire so many feet in the air it made him light headed, finding out the world was about to end, and everything else that had happened since he found Optimus in that run down theater....

Honestly, Cade was surprised his heart hadn’t given out on him yet. His head spun just trying to keep the events of the past weeks straight. All of it was too much, and even the few moments of peace they had did little to relax him; something else always came up, be it the autobots fighting or Shane and Tessa giving him shit (though they would claim to do otherwise).

Even now, as they flew across the globe towards China for the final showdown (final in many respects, if what Optimus had said before they took off was anything to go by – but that was a whole other can of worms), Cade found there was a tightness in his gut that refused to leave. The mark on his right arm burned for some reason he couldn’t place, and he had nothing else to distract him from his overall discomfort.

The others milled about and kept themselves occupied, autobots bickering amongst themselves while Tessa and Shade cuddled at the mouth of the ship – that in itself put Cade on edge, fearful that they’d fall out despite the many reassurances he received from just about everyone. The only person who also seemed to be unoccupied was Optimus, so of course Cade had opted to sit next to him, placing his new alien gun in his lap.

He rubbed his burning mark and stared at his feet. The final battle was only a few hours away. They could all very well die. Hell, he was almost positive that this would be his last venture...

“Optimus?” Cade winced as he spoke, mouth moving against his brain’s will. He heard the shift of metal above him and could almost feel the intense gaze the Prime was casting down on him. “I know you said that your marks are carved onto your sparks and it’s in your programming and all of that, but...” He let go of his mark and used that hand to cover his face as he heaved out a sigh. “Is there like any... I don’t know, failsafe for all that?”

“Failsafe?” There was an almost aggravated rumble to Optimus’s tone, and Cade regretted his decision even more. This was a bad idea, they were too busy preparing, this was hardly the time for dragging up drama like this–

“Y’know, what if you don’t hear them?” And yet his mouth continued to move. “Say you’re asleep when they say something to you for the first time? How do you know?”

The silence that followed was long and awkwardly drawn out, and it took Cade all of his willpower to not squirm in discomfort. The heat from Optimus’s gaze seemed to increase with each instant, and the only real sounds Cade could make out were Optimus’s fans and his own rampaging heartbeat.

“It,” Optimus began before emitting a cough-like sound (did transformers really need to cough like that, though?) and shifting away slightly. The instant his gaze was torn away from the human did Cade suddenly feel himself relax a bit. “Yes, there is a failsafe of sorts. Their voice is imprinted in our mind and spark, and our E.M. field – which acts as another form of communication for my kind – constantly reaches for them.”

Cade felt his face slowly heat up as Optimus spoke. Despite the warmth on his cheeks, he felt icy and numb as he slowly lifted his head to look up at his soulmate. He was sure he was quite the amusing sight, with his wide eyes and agape mouth. The only thing Cade could even vocalize was a small, weak, “Oh.”

So there _was_ some weird alien thing he had been missing.

Optimus glanced down towards him and attempted to give him a weak smile, but it quickly faltered and fell away. “I’ve known you were my sparkmate from the moment I first heard your voice, Cade,” he said, his voice soft and surprisingly quiet.

It felt as though a knot had formed in Cade’s throat. He gaped a few times before gasping out, “Then why didn’t you–”

“I assume for reasons similar to why you didn’t.”

A flash of remembrance brought forward the image of Optimus’s spark to Cade’s mind. It had been covered with various marks, and he had been in a long war...

Cade looked down at his left arm, to the mark that connected him to Emily all those years ago. “When Emily died,” he found himself speaking, “I spent so much time blaming myself and my second mark. I almost let myself waste away.” He bit the inside of his cheek and dared to look back up to Optimus.

He was looking away, towards Tessa and Shane. “I’ve lost several sparkmates and even more friends to this war.” His voice rumbled through the room, and Cade found himself leaning forward with rapt attention. “So much energon has been spilled... I was not sure I could open my spark to another, especially one of the species who has done so much harm to my brethren.”

Cade winced as he recalled the footage he found on the drone, of different bots being hunted down and mercilessly torn apart. He remembered Ratchet, seeing the medic’s head being melted down and the rage it threw Optimus in. He wondered if Ratchet’s first words to Optimus were carved into that spark’s crystal chamber.

And suddenly Cade felt so small and guilty for how he handled his pain and loss.

But then Optimus was smiling down at him; it was a sad smile that only just barely met his optics, but it was perhaps one of the most genuine he had ever seen the bot give and it was more than enough to take Cade’s breath away. “Cade, you have helped me in more ways than one. I doubt I will ever be able to properly thank you.”

Cade shrugged in the hopes to give off an air of nonchalance, but the heat of his blush likely gave him away. “The feeling’s mutual. I mean, thanks. For saving my family and protecting this planet. Who knows where we’d be without you.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I’m just glad I’ve been of some use and have paid you back, even if only a little.”

Optimus sighed, the sound heavy and weighed down in Cade’s ears even after it had stopped. He pressed a finger to Cade’s back, and almost instantly Cade placed his hand on the outstretched metal arm in response. Cade wasn’t sure what the point of this gesture was, but it brought him some comfort and helped to settle the anxiety he felt towards the upcoming battle, if only just a bit.

He hoped that it helped Optimus the same way.

* * *

The battle was chaotic, more so than Cade had anticipated – and he had anticipated for things to be more hectic than anything else he had encountered up to that point. Rushing through Hong Kong, arguing with Joshua, fighting against Savoy ( _killing_ Savoy. That was likely going to stick with Cade for a while, kill-or-be-killed situation be damned), helping Hound hold down and defend their measly shelter, almost getting crushed in a car by a _freaking ship propeller_. It was all way too much; he wondered how he hadn’t keeled over from the overexertion. He wasn’t exactly out of shape by any means, but he doubted anybody was fully prepared for a battle like that.

Watching Optimus Prime ride in on a giant metal T-Rex that spat fire had been a very nice plus at least, even if it just added to the overall confusion of the situation.

Watching Optimus Prime run off to face off against Lockdown in a one-on-one battle was decidedly less pleasant. Cade watched as his soulmate rushed off to finish the battle once and for all, the mark on his right arm burning like crazy. He gulped as he gripped the mark with his left hand, his gut churning with unease.

His part in this battle was technically done. It was all in Optimus’s hands now. But Lockdown had captured Optimus before and killed several autobots before him.

When the heat on his arm spiked slightly, he made up his mind and rushed after Optimus. He wasn’t about to stand by and do nothing as another soulmate died.

* * *

_“Will we ever see you again?”_

_“Cade Yeager, I do not know. But whenever you look_ _to_ _the stars, think of one of them as my soul.”_

* * *

Optimus still had to leave, in the end. The Seed was a danger that they needed to be rid of, and apparently, his creators would come after him no matter what. Cade more than anything wanted him to stay, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do to stop him. Watching Optimus fly off had near torn his heart in two.

At least Optimus was alive, out there somewhere amongst the stars. That was a comfort. Even if Cade never saw him again, he could rest easy knowing he had done his part to help his soulmate survive this last battle.

Joshua kept his promise and got them a new home. It wasn’t on the same plot of land they had before, unfortunately, but the area was similar enough. The house was about the same size but the barn was much larger than before in order to make room for the remaining autobots, though they didn’t keep a permanent residence there. Joshua even pulled some strings ensure that Tessa was able to enroll into any college she wished.

Ever so slowly, their lives fell back into place. Cade got his business up and running again, Tessa got back in contact with her friends and began to look more seriously at possible schools, Shane – who had, apparently, all but moved into their new home – went back to racing, and the bots stopped by every now and then while trying to sort things out with the government. It was all so surreal, Cade often wondered if it was all a dream that he’d wake up from at any moment.

And during every moment, his heart ached and the mark on his right arm emitted a dull pain.

* * *

“Did you find anything?” Tessa asked as she wondered into Lucas’s bedroom lugging a large cardboard box. They were cleaning out Lucas’s apartment now that he was officially listed as deceased and in his will (which Cade was honestly surprised he even had one) he had left all of his meager belongings to the two of them. It hurt to go through it all, partially because Cade had yet to adjust to the loss but mostly due to how much of a slob Lucas had been in life.

But it did have it’s plus. “Yeah,” he answered as he held up a photo album he was looking through, “found his stash of pictures.” He grinned as his daughter all but threw down the box and rushed forward to get a better look. “Thank god, too. I thought I’d never see any of your baby photos again when the house was destroyed.”

Tessa groaned when she reached him to see, sure enough, Lucas had quite a few pictures of her as an infant. “God, I thought I was rid of that humiliation!” But the smile she gave him was so wide that it made her eyes crinkle, and he knew she was as relieved as he was that not all of their memories were gone for good. “Does he have any of Mom?”

“Oh, loads,” Cade answered as he quickly flipped to the front of that album. The first picture in the book was one of Emily and Lucas as teenagers right before their first day of high school. “The two of them basically grew up together.” For a man who loved to give off a don’t-care attitude, Lucas was surprisingly sentimental and held on to a lot of old photos. Cade was beyond grateful though as he continued to flip through the album. He was certain he’d never see Emily’s face again.

He stopped on a page towards the back of the book, a picture of him and Lucas in front of the old barn at the center of the page. “When was that taken?” Tessa asked as she leaned forward, a hand placed on her father’s shoulder to keep balanced.

Cade smiled, the gesture feeling shaky for some reason that was beyond him. “That, Tess, was the day we officially started up our business,” he answered. “You were pretty young back then, but your mother thought it would’ve been a good idea for me to pursue my interests. To this day I’m still not sure how she convinced Lucas to help out.” A drop of water fell onto the page.

“Dad...”

He turned to Tessa, whose eyes were wide and teary and filled with concerned and oh. That had been a teardrop.

When did he start crying?

He put down the album and wiped at his eyes, silently cursing the fact that he hadn’t even noticed. Tessa moved closer to him, her arm snaking around to his other shoulder to pull him into a half-hug. “Hey, it’s ok to cry, y’know. No shame in it.”

Cade scoffed. “Yeah, not in front of my daughter, though.” He heaved out a shaky breath and willed his emotions to settle down. “You’ve been through enough as it is, no need to add me breaking down on top of that.”

“It’s not like I haven’t seen you do it before,” Tessa countered. “I might’ve been real young at the time, but I still remember when Mom died.”

He winced at those painful memories. “Yeah, I’m kind of trying to not repeat what I did back then.” It had been unhealthy and reckless, and this time he didn’t have Lucas around to snap him out of it.

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t mean what you’re doing now is right.” She sighed and pulled away from him, for which he was grateful even if he missed the embrace. “Lucas was basically family, and now he’s gone. And then with the whole deal with Optimus-”

“Yeah, that,” Cade interrupted, abruptly standing up. He was emotional enough as it was, he didn’t want to add soulmate troubles on top of that. “That’s. Something that has nothing to do with what we’re doing.” He picked up the photo album and placed it in the cardboard box Tessa had brought in. “Come on, let’s see if we can find any more of his stuff that we wanna keep.”

Tessa rolled her eyes again and shook her head. She mercifully let the matter drop, though.

* * *

The thing was, even if Optimus was alive (and he had to still be alive, his mark hadn’t reacted in a way to signify that Optimus had fallen under great harm), there was still a good chance that Cade would never see him again. Space was, well, infinite; it would take a lot of time to traverse it, especially when seeking someone. Optimus, luckily, had millions of years to search the stars to find his lost creators. Cade shared no such fortune.

Unfortunately.

So he once again was faced with the prospect of spending the rest of his life all alone without a soulmate. The difference this time being he had no other mark to bring him even the most minimal comfort. It left him feeling hollow and sluggish.

Between that, Tessa preparing to leave for college, and Cade trying to start up his business again without Lucas...

Cade groaned and buried his head in his hands. It’s been over a month since the battle in Hong Kong, he shouldn’t still feel so drained from it all. It was as though that spike of adrenaline took up all of his reserves and he had been running on fumes since. He pulled his hands down from his face slowly and looked down at his arms.

_“Hey! I think you dropped this!”_

_“I’ll kill you!”_

Cade furrowed his brow as he stared at Optimus’s mark. “At this rate, you just might,” he grumbled. “You cause a whole lot of stress, ya old wreck.” His lips tugged up to a mirthful smile but it quickly fell away.

He stared at his marks.

His marks stared back.

Something twisted in his chest and Cade suddenly found that he couldn’t look at them anymore. He stood up, arms kept strictly at his side, and wandered out of his home and onto the porch. The night air was cool, a rarity for a summer night in Texas, as he fell into place on the porch swing. His eyes turned towards the sky above.

Stars were scattered about, specks of white and silver among a dark blue sea. This was why he insisted on their home being out in the country again, for the view after the sun had set.

Well. That and cities were just way too damn loud. But that’s beside the point.

There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, so there was nothing to obstruct Cade’s view. He heaved out a sigh and relaxed into his seat, legs lightly pushing the swing. It wasn’t until his heart rate began to slow in his relaxed state that he realized it had been speeding in the first place after his emotions got the better of him. He quickly crossed his arms behind his head to prevent himself from accidentally looking at them.

“If only I had a Bud Light,” he mumbled to himself, eyes drifting from star to star with no real purpose, “then this would be perfect.”

Or as perfect as could be, all things considered.

Cade’s eyes suddenly landed on a particularly bright star in the sky. It wasn’t one that he really knew, it not falling under the slim astronomy knowledge he had. What made him pause on the star, aside from its brightness, was the fact that it almost looked blue.

_“Whenever you look to the stars, think of one of them as my soul.”_

That scarred spark with so many words carved into its shell, a light blue glow that danced behind a clear crystal.

Cade slowed the rocking of his swing to a stop and leaned forward, bringing his arms to rest on his knees as he stared up at that star. “Hope you find what you’re looking for, Optimus.” He dipped his head down low, squeezed his eyes shut, and lifted his hands to rest on the back of his head.

He stayed in that position for such a great amount of time that his back ached for the majority of the next day.

* * *

His mark was warm.

“Dad, it’s probably fine!” Tessa exclaimed as she rushed past the living room to see him staring at the mark on his right arm yet again. She was busy packing away what few belongings she currently owned to take with her to college the following week. While she did not own much, having not yet replaced all that she lost when their old home was destroyed, she was still near manic as she rushed to get it all collected. And so she was more than a little annoyed when Cade suddenly stopped helping to gape at his mark. “So it’s warm! That could mean anything!”

She was right, of course; Cade was well aware that marks were known to react to many things outside of the soulmate being in danger. However, given his past experience and the fact that his soulmate was freaking Optimus Prime, he couldn’t help but worry about the implications.

He glanced up when he heard Tessa walk by the room again to see her arms piled high with random items that she certainly did _not_ need to take with her to school. He heaved a sigh and stood. “Hold on, hold on. I’m pretty sure you don’t have to take all these dishes to campus–” He pulled the box of plates out of her hands and lugged them back to the dining room where they belonged. “We can buy much cheaper ones if you’re so insistent on not using paper plates!”

Worry still twisted at his gut, but at the end of the day, there just wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it. This wasn’t like the battle with Lockdown, he had no way of intervening to help. Optimus was out in space who knows how far away! Meanwhile, Tessa was getting ready to move out. She was absolutely right; his attention was best put towards helping her be prepared for her upcoming independence.

Still, throughout the day as he helped his daughter pack, the mark on his arm steadily grew warmer. It never reached the searing, painful heat he had felt in the past, but it was still alarming at the rate the heat rose. He tried his best to ignore it, to focus on the task at hand – luckily it wasn’t too difficult to do. Tessa was, quite honestly, as stubborn as he was and they definitely spent several minutes arguing about whether or not it was feasible for her to take the fridge he kept in the barn with her.

By the time the sun had begun to set, the mark had leveled off in temperature and it was easier for him to ignore. Cade had nearly forgotten about it, in fact, until a familiar rumble of a truck outside caught his attention. He and Tessa froze, as both of them had been in the middle of folding and packing the clothes she planned to take with her to school, and shared a glance. She jerked her head towards the window in her room and Cade nearly tripped at least three times trying to maneuver around the boxes that littered the floor to reach it. He yanked down hard on the cord and the blinds flew up fast as a result. And there, driving down the long dirt road towards their home, was an all too familiar blue and red semi-truck.

He didn’t really recall rushing down the stairs and out the front door. One minute he was standing in Tessa’s room, the next he was out in front of the front porch, chest heaving and heart pounding as he watched the truck pull to a stop a few yards away. An all too familiar metallic clanking filled the air as the truck transformed to reveal the leader of the autobots. Cade could do little more than stare as Optimus Prime walked forward and kneeled in front of him.

Optimus smiled. “Hello again, Cade.”

Cade was embarrassed by how long it took him to find his voice again. He could distinctly hear the sound of Tessa shouting something at him from inside, though he couldn’t exactly make out the words (it was probably something along the lines of “SAY SOMETHING!”). But, just as Optimus’s smile began to falter, Cade was finally able to grin brightly up at him and exclaim, “It’s about time you got back, ya old wreck!” He strode forward and placed a hand on Optimus’s leg, relishing in the feel of the warm metal beneath his hand. “Did you take care of that bomb and find your creators already?”

A large servo was offered, and Cade gladly stepped onto it. After repositioning himself in a more comfortable sitting position, Optimus brought Cade up so that they were at level, his small smile still in place. “I did take care of the Seed, yes. As for my creators...” He solemnly shook his head. “To be honest, I did not look for long.”

Now that... That was unexpected. “Why not? I thought they were a huge threat still?”

“They may be, yes. The day might come where they will come to Earth to finish what they began,” Optimus explained, bowing his helm slightly. “Coming back may yet put Earth in danger, but...” He sighed. “I have lost many sparkmates in my time, be it from them betraying me, the war taking them from me, or even humans turning against us.” he paused to meet Cade’s eyes, optics shining brightly. Cade leaned forward and placed a hand on Optimus’s cheek, remorseful that his earlier assumption about Ratchet had been proven correct. Optimus lightly leaned into the touch. “And your lifespan is so much shorter than that of my kind’s. Our time is already too short, I did not wish to waste it and risk losing you before I could return.”

His eyes were _not_ tearing up, nope. His vision wasn’t going blurry, he wasn’t – ah fuck it. Cade was crying. The tears hadn’t fallen yet, but they were still there so there was no point in denying it. His smile was so wide it almost hurt and his heart was pounding in his chest and _he wasn’t going to be alone, Optimus came back for him._

Cade leaned forward even more, using his hand on Optimus’s cheek to brace himself, and placed a small kiss right next to the autobot’s nose. Fans clicked on, and when Cade pulled back Optimus’s optics were wide with his optical ridges raised high above them. “You have no idea how grateful I am that you came back!” Cade said, so giddy there was a bit of laughter to his voice. He couldn’t really remember the last time he felt like this – it had been before Emily got sick, that’s for sure. “I honestly thought something bad had happened when my mark started acting up earlier!”

“I did not mean to worry you.” The small frown and furrowed brow that fell on Optimus’s face as he said those words was honestly...cute. And Cade did not use that phrase often. He laughed again and pressed his forehead against the metal cheek.

“You’re fine, Optimus. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

And as Optimus brought Cade closer to his face, the sound of Tessa whooping loudly from the house ringing through the air, Cade, at last, felt content for the first time in years.


End file.
